When women exhaust the natural trajectory of their sexual appeal, they reinvent themselves to stretch their longevity, sexual appeal and shelf lives. That is perfectly okay. We are not going to sit back and whine simply because society has conditioned us to accept that after forty we are used goods that should be begging for recycling like polymer plastics on a dumpsite.

This is the time we coin and adopt religious taglines and slogans like God’s daughter, daughter of Zion while also quoting scriptures in our social media timelines. We join groups on social media that answer our new challenges. There is a plethora of dating sites camouflaging as advisory centres for women who have technically started up the plateau phase. They go by titles like ‘Dating after 40’, ‘Mature Love’, ‘Sexy single’ etcetera. The platforms are full of battle-hardened females who have at least a child or four to show for their years of reproductive engagements.

We stay fit by subscribing to gym routines and paying for it, even if it only gives us a psychological boost to hang in the space of dating and contend for the few slots against the younger females. Like them, the forty-plus woman is also looking for a rich, confident, good-looking, stylish man who can lay the pipe like a twenty-year-old youth. The catch point is that the plumber should also bring the stamina to play stepdad to kids who we expect to be taken to the groups of schools while also aiming for some Ivy League college in the diaspora in the coming few years.

We come with a challenging profile because we have been exposed to the best brands before by potential suitors who we rejected because we kept the faith that there is always better out there. You see, while the 20s woman will appreciate being flown by Air Arabia to land in the boring emirate of Sharja in the UAE, for a mature lass who has flown Qatar Airways and Air Lufthansa, such mediocre brands just don’t cut it. We want better while supplying the same services as the younger females. Sadly, while our years of experience between the sheets should stand in as a superior point to market our case, it is something that men do not quite appreciate. We are therefore forced to downplay our abilities to compete fairly with rookies who are yet to learn how to clean their bums properly while we can fake an earth-shaking orgasm in the shortest time possible to soothe a man’s ego. Sad restriction there!

Oftentimes, we are forced to act naïve to attract the man because naturally the other gender prefers to look mature and in control even when they cannot tell black from white. But acting is an art that is hard to sustain. Occasionally, we forget and demand that our experience be matched carnally, career success and in terms of material acquisition. When that fails, we keep monkey branching and before we know it we have done a decade in the streets and have to change our profile to version 5.0. That way, the subscription profile changes in terms of age and ingredients but our emotional relationship wishes remain very old. The fifties woman still wants a tall dark and handsome man who would hold her wrinkled hands in the streets proudly to show us to the world and possibly walk us down the aisle to demonstrate to man and God that we are indeed daughters of Zion as our timelines advertise.